Solid Block of Ise

In one week my blog turns four years old. Four years!

This means that I’m also going to change some things around. For a while I was thinking about doing a big dramatic thing and shutting this down on that day. I’ve become a bit frustrated with my lack of blogging-progress and for a while I was disillusioned with the whole thing.

But instead I’m going to change stuff. First off I’m going to make this into a bilingual blog. I switched languages from Swedish to English a while ago, and while this affords me to write to an international audience it also makes me a little weird, because some things work best in Swedish. Thus, two languages. So if you’re a non-Swede who all of a sudden can’t understand stuff, then tough luck. If I find something worthy to comment on in english I will do so. I have no idea how much blogging I will do in either language - I like writing in english too.

Another thing is that I’m tired of my own self-censorship. This is my blog, dammit! I can write whatever the hell I want here, and using whatever wording I want. Even though I might throw in a rough word here and there it doesn’t mean I’m some kind of neanderthal incapable of intelligent speech. I was brought up to not use curse-words, but sometimes when I’m angry I will use them anyway. That’s just life. If you’re easily offended by harsh language I suggest you steer your little ship somewhere else.

The third thing is that I’ve come to realize that I’m a big coward and hypocrite in some cases. I said about a year ago that the only one in charge of my life was me, yet I’m still worried what other people think, and I still subconsciously prioritize my own will and opinions lower to not upset anyone else. No more of this. I will be more brutally honest with both myself and my surroundings. I hope this will help boost my confidence, which has taken a lot of beatings lately - a lot of it my own doing, unfortunately.

And finally, I want to apologize for not always being consistent in my personality. I’m struggling with who I am and what goes on in my head. Some days are easier, some are more difficult. Sometimes I don’t make much sense at all, even to myself. I also know that a lot of the time it’s difficult to like me, much less love me. I’m sorry for this, I’m trying to do the best I can but I have weak days as well as strong days.

License

This work is published under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 2.5 Sweden License.