Solid Block of Ise

Oh, there are so many ways to start this posting. I should also probably warn by now that there’s some rather disgusting pictures attached towards the end of this. If you’ve got a weak stomach, don’t scroll down. Also in advance, allow me to apologize for what a slob I am - at least when it comes to my former keyboard.

I could start by telling about how many independent reports all agree that among the most unsanitary and unhygienic things in a persons office or home usually is the computer keyboard. In fact, in most cases a persons toilet is cleaner and contains less bacteria than a persons keyboard.

Another more humorous (humerus) approach would be to tell the story of the Dust Puppy. Dust Puppy is a regular character on one of my favorite webcomics, and has been along for the ride almost from the start. He was spontaneously created from the dust and filth gathered inside a server cabinet.

Now, with that in mind we get to the whole point of this post.

I recently acquired a new keyboard. It’s a Logitech Wave (corded) which is quite neat and a good recommendation for anyone needing a quality keyboard. This meant that I could retire my old keyboard which has served me loyally for more than eight years. The manufacture date on the bottom says it was manufactured in April 2000.

One of the main reasons for me wanting a new keyboard was that the old one was filled with filth. I made a few half-hearted attempts at cleaning it (which never worked), and it wasn’t until earlier tonight I realized had (as I often do) over-analyzed the situation and tried to shoot a fly with a cannon. Since it’s a rubber-dome keyboard the keys can easily be popped off and the area underneath can be cleaned.

This first picture I snapped with my phone moments after popping off the first key. Note the horror that lurks below. You can click on the pictures for full-size, although why you’d want to do that is beyond my comprehension.

Popping off the keys takes but a few minutes, and suddenly you feel as if you’ve been visited by a naked Russian mobster that looks nothing like Viggo Mortensen. Suddenly you feel a need for a bleach-shower and a thorough scrubdown by a motivated bosnian lady.

Behold the horror that lies within:

Yup. That’s eight years of crud collected inside my keyboard. I feel so proud of myself. Please excuse me while I go cower in shame.

Here’s two sexy closeups of each side for all of you in need of some hot greasy action:

Makes me all worked up just looking at it. So please, everyone, don’t let this happen to your keyboard. Follow this handy little guide for keyboard-cleaning and keep your ‘boards somewhat hygienic. I know I will with my new Wave. I know I’m not going to put that old keyboard back together, I’m just gonna go shove it in the garbage tomorrow morning and hope the images of it eventually fade from my mind.

License

This work is published under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 2.5 Sweden License.