Yes, sometimes I feel like Edward.

Snapped this photo earlier today at the bus-station.

Translated from Swedish the display says:

THIS IS A PAUSE-IMAGE

There is no information to show

Really? Is that so?

Yeah, I kid you not! Computers can cause serious bodily harm.

Just a few minutes ago, stupid as I am, I reached into my darkened computer to adjust a fan slightly. I’m allergic to those LED-fans that blink and shine and hoot and do stupid stuff, so my computer is usually pitch-black inside. I normally keep a small flashlight handy for these online-adjustments, but this time I decided to be all manly and dumb. It’s just a simple adjustment!

KA-THUNK!

I accidentally brushed the earlier mentioned CPU-fan. Almost lopped my finger right off!

I found this satirical little writing about how bread is the unknown killer of today, and even though I laughed at it a more serious part of my brain reminded me that even though it’s satire, it actually showcases pretty well the attitude our media and governments display to us.

(Wow, that was a long sentence. Sorry!)

I’ll quite a bit from it so to whet your appetite.

1. More than 98 percent of convicted felons are bread users.

2. Fully HALF of all children who grow up in bread-consuming households score below average on standardized tests.

3. In the 18th century, when virtually all bread was baked in the home, the average life expectancy was less than 50 years; infant mortality rates were unacceptably high; many women died in childbirth; and diseases such as typhoid, yellow fever, and influenza ravaged whole nations.

4. Every piece of bread you eat brings you nearer to death.

Replace “bread” with “terrorists” and all of a sudden it no longer reads as satire. It reads as something that Fox would broadcast on their news.

I’m a big fan of PvP Online. It’s a hilarious comic that I’ve been following for a good many number of years now. Sure, it has it’s ups and downs and it has changed a lot over the years, but none the less I still follow it. It’s a bit edgier than the stale syndicated strips in newspapers, and it’s a bit nerdier than them as well. It’s part of my daily routine, and I never miss an update.

When Scott announced about a year ago that an animated series called “PvP: The Series” would be produced I thought that Oh, boy I just have to see this! Scott had previously done some half-assed homemade flash-animation that was slightly amusing but not really much more than an experiment, really. So, a professionally produced animated series with proper voice-acting, distributed via subscription-model over the internet sounded like a fun thing. I wanted to show my support for such a project so I signed up, since Scott had announced that the number of pre-signups would make it or break it.

That was a year ago.

After having experienced the twelve monthly alloted episodes I can safely say that it was worth my twenty bucks, but that I will not renew my subscription. Sure, it was twelve amusing episodes. I admit as well that I might come off as slightly greedy by saying this, but I never really felt that I got my moneys worth. I think that Scotts work just lends itself better to a traditional daily comic rather than a two-three minutes animated episode.

The animation was nice, and I was impressed by how the animators managed to emulate the style of Scotts drawings. And while the episodes really were just animated versions of the daily strips I still felt kinda short-changed. I’m not going to go off on some screaming rant saying “OMG THIS SUCKED SO BAD DO NOT SPEND MONEY ON IT!” because that wouldn’t be true. This is purely my personal opinion and not some kind of review. I liked the attempt, but it just didn’t click for me.

I whore love extensions. dildo Really, smut I do. Extensions, plugins, addons, whatever you call dildo it - I like prick them.

Firefox dildo is excellent in that dildo department, it can be extended damn like dildo crazy. My own Firefox honkey is wank like a tank. I’m whore running whore at least fifty extensions cunt right now, and every now and then bitch I prick delete the dildo ones I whore don’t use shit regularly and add in new ones that might come in bitch handy.

I’ve seen a lot of pretty useless extensions bastard - eggtimers, bitch todo-notes, that kind of cunt stuff. But now I’ve smut found the absolutely most useless of them all. The tourettes syndrome extension. It wank will give your text input fields the complete feel of tourettes, except without the tics whore and hooting.

Which I suppose would be rather tricky pussy to ass implement properly…

How it works? It will insert random vulgarities whore every two-three words or so, foreskin and if you need pussy a whore more vulgar version you honkey can foreskin get the one that inserts vulgarities ever other foreskin word. Guaranteed to make someone upset!

Check it whore out in pussy case you have too many piss friends!

Fair trade is a consumer movement that has gained some momentum the last year or so. The concept is simple and ethically sound: essentially it is that what we take from developing nations, we also give back. Currently it’s more profitable for many countries to continue abusing the developing nations, and Fair Trade aims at removing that unfairness.

A few days ago my parents visited us. This was to celebrate my birthday, but they also grabbed the opportunity to spend some time downtown shopping and having a relaxed day. We discovered a fair-trade coffee-place in one of the malls, and there I found this can of cola, which made me laugh a bit.

Ubuntu is to me a Linux-distribution, which was the cause of my sudden hilarity. But Ubuntu is also a common word in Africa, essentially meaning “Humanity towards others”. Thus, Ubuntu is also a perfect name for a Fair Trade-cola. Tasted nice as well, a lot more fruity than most other Colas.

So, if you’re interested in bettering your karma while quenching your thirst, go out and grab some of these. More information about Ubuntu Trading (which makes this Cola) is available at their website.

This is easily the weirdest news I’ve read in a long time.

First off, to understand how weird this is, you really need to have seen the movie “Idiocracy” directed by Mike Judge. He’s the guy that created Beavis and Butthead as well as directed “Office Space“, the cult movie about frustrated cubicle-dwellers.

Here’s the story. Mike got badly burnt by Fox after directing Office Space for them. They didn’t market the movie and it sank from public view quite quickly. Thankfully it gained cult-recognition in the small screen, and is one of my many favorite movies. Despite being so disrespectfully handled by Fox he agreed to make another movie for them - Idiocracy. This is easily one of the darkest comedies I’ve ever seen, right up there with masterpieces such as Dr Strangelove. Anyone with a brain-stem needs to see it, and hopefully understand why it’s so funny and scary at the same time.

But, fairly unsurprising, Fox abandoned Idiocracy and let it sink without a trace just like they did with Office Space. Which sucks, since it’s a brilliant movie.

And this is where it gets really weird. In the movie there was an energy-drink called Brawndo. It was marketed with the slogan “The Thirst Mutilator” and supposedly contained “electrolytes”. The company behind it was so successful in it’s marketing that it managed to get water banned from usage, and this in turn caused a world-wide famine since the morons of the future were instead using Brawndo to water plants - which of course promptly died since electrolytes is salt.

Fox, in it’s infinite lack of wisdom has now chosen to make this drink a reality and profit from it. It’s pretty much as it was in the movie, the same name, the same slogan and also claiming to contain “electrolytes”. All the while giving Mike the shaft.

If this is not the ultimate bitter irony, then I don’t know what is.

(Via: Slashdot)