(I’m not sure if I’m back to writing or not, but I just can’t hold my anger and frustration about the latest political madness that’s been approved here in Sweden. Beware that there will most likely be plenty of foul language ahead.)

As surely anyone in this country (and even outside of it) knows Sweden yesterday passed the so-called “Lex Orwell” law, aka the FRA-law.

To say that this is stupidity on such a grand scale we’ll need a new tool and unit to measure it is quite an understatement. Personally I feel like I want to go to the swedish parliament and bitch-slap the shit out of every single one of the morons who voted yes for it. I also want to smack the living jeezus out of the wankers who weren’t even there, in this case some 60+ people.

Every single politician except one lone hero followed the party-line of voting for it. This is to all of you who voted yes: YOU SUCK, you’re a bunch of goddamn cowards and are not worthy to smell my shit!

So, why is this law such a bad thing? Well, I’m just going to list the tip of the iceberg here.

* It’s incredibly vague. The law talks about “yttre hot” (Swedish for “outer threats”) but makes only half-assed attempts at defining them. The old boogeyman called terrorism is waved in the face of everyone who doesn’t immediately nod their head off, even though Sweden has never been a target of terrorism. For any swede to think Sweden is a target for terrorism is ridiculous hubris. Sweden is such a neutral country that in comparison Switzerland seem like an extremely opinionated nation.

* The naivety among politicians about how technology works is nothing short of astounding. Do they really think that there’s something like one huge cable going in and out of the country? Go to some lame website like myspace and I guarantee you that the traffic passes in and out of the country through at least seventeen different pipes.

* The naivety among politicians about how technology works is nothing short of astounding. Yes, I know I said it once already, but it’s such a big issue that it deserves to be mentioned twice. Provided this law will be used to track those vaguely defined “outer threats” then the assumption is that terrorists use standard email, never encrypt anything and don’t use any codes at all. Seriously, how much of a failure as a terrorist do you have to be to be dumb enough sending emails with things like “are you going to place the bomb at the presidents car today”? If you did, you wouldn’t last as a terrorist more than five seconds before you accidentally shoot yourself in the face.

Which leads me to…

* Since the threat of terrorism is purely symbolic the only purpose for this constant wiretapping will be to keep track of domestic threats. And since the law is so vaguely formulated you can bet your sweet patootie that everyone with money, power or a government job will want access to the logs and contents. The first ones will of course be the mediamaffia, who will happily corrupt anyone they can in order to keep fighting for their “rights” or some bullshit like that. Not to mention that the anonymity for whistleblowers or informants will be completely gone. No one will ever again question authority, because they can no longer be sure who reads the logs. Additionally, to even mention the phrase that “innocent people will have nothing to hide” is plain idiocy. Even if you’re “innocent” you will change your habits if you know that you’re being supervised. And innocence is highly flexible. Who knows what will be defined as innocent in ten years? What is a minor crime today might be punishable by death in a decade, thanks to the fact that the government can keep constant watch on everyone.

* The fact that this law even passed makes me think that the yes-voters can be classified as one of three kinds of politicians:

1) The coward who doesn’t dare to oppose the party-line.
2) The moron who doesn’t know better.
3) The dangerous one who actually wants to implement a totalitarian state where the citizens are under constant surveillance similar to the former East Germany (DDR). The one who welcomes it, since he or she is safe knowing they’ll be more equal than the rest of us.

So what are my thoughts on all this?

My emotions are quite clear. I think this law is a frontal assault on democracy. While I don’t think that we will live in an Orwellian dystopia within the next week, I am scared that the slow erosion of democracy has started.

My emotion around all this is more Animal Farm than Nineteen-Eighty Four, but the concept is the same. A sham democracy. A faux democracy. A democracy only in name, bolstered by lofty sayings and using television and media to blind the public and keep them sedated.

I’m afraid that Sweden is started down the slippery slope towards a totalitarian government, just like old DDR or various other countries around the world, such as Belarus or even Saudi-Arabia.

I’ve just come home from spending a rather interesting saturday pre-noon. Today there was a shindig of some kind downtown, promoting free culture and other such good things. The first half of the day consisted of lectures from Lars Aronsson, founder of Project Runeberg (a swedish project with similar aims as the more wellknown Project Gutenberg, but focusing on swedish literature instead) and Rick Falkvinge, founder of the Pirate Party.

Consisting of the day after lunch was a lecture by Maud Olofsson, and then an open debate where Rick, Lars and representatives of various organizations would be present. I didn’t feel like attending this since I find Maud Olofsson at best to be very annoying, and at worst to be a two-faced untrustworthy person sprouting whatever opinion is currently in vogue. The debate would’ve been interesting, but I didn’t like the prospect of sitting 20 minutes on a bus home to eat something, then 20 minutes back to listen to the debate for an hour and then 20 minutes on the bus home again.

But the first half was very interesting. I’ve never heard of Lars Aronsson before, but I’m a big fan of open media such as Wikipedia and Project Gutenberg, and he was obviously very enthusiastic about what he did. He chatted a bit about the process of digitization, the problems that intellectual property-laws posed on his work, and generally held an interesting lecture about thing. Rick held another interesting lecture, although I found it a bit sad that he was essentially just preaching to the already converted. Never the less, he gave me an interesting new angle on the whole thing, and talked at lengts about why patents need to be abolished, as well as the origins of intellectual property and why laws regarding them need to be severely reformed. I heartily agree with Rick on the subject of patents on medicine. Not only are the patents stupid and restrictive - they’re actively harmful and causes people to die! Completely absurd.

On a different note I found it rather neat to find that both Rick and Lars apparently run Ubuntu on their laptops. Good!

Other than that the weather is spectacular here. Thermometer says only 10 degrees celsius, but it feels a lot warmer than that. Compare the photo below with the one I took in January. Same angle, almost standing in the same spot.

UPDATE: Apparently there was some kind of mix-up. It wasn’t Maud Olofsson who was scheduled, rather someone with the confusingly similar name of Maud Johansson. Weird. The sendout that I got said Maud Olofsson. Anyhoo, there’s some photos from the event at Stefan Flods blog.

And this ginormous tractor outside the tractor-place. It’s a humdinger. It has nothing to do with the rest of this post, I just thought it was cool.

I forgot to mention that yesterday our apartment appeared in all the listings. It is now for sale! So, if you’re looking for a very cozy apartment in Umeå, look no further. Plenty of space, stylish interior, fairly high standards of living, huge balcony, convenient location as well as excellent (i.e. 100 mbit) broadband.

Our apartment at Hemnet.

And some photos. These were taken by our realtor Erica, and she’s been excellent so far. Professional, efficient, easy to get along with. And, an excellent photographer.

There are a few things that I miss from the more decadent US of A. Among those things is the wide selection of soft-drinks available. Sure, a lot of the stuff is available here in Sweden, but there are quite a few flavors that aren’t. We can get regular Coke, Pepsi, Dr Pepper and various other products.

But we can’t get root beer, Mountain Dew or Cherry Coke. At least not through the official channels, although there are companies who import american products for us to enjoy at almost silly prices. Root beer is pretty common now. Mountain Dew and Cherry Coke is not.

(On another note: root beer is the preferred choice of drink for UNIX-people. Why? Well, why don’t you think about it for a while)

But today I found both of those. At really horrible prices I bought two cans of Cherry Coke and two of Mountain Dew. Combined with the amazing weather Umeå has today, I’m having an excellent day.

And in case anyone in Umeå is wondering where I bought them, you can find them at Nanna-kiosken downtown, right next to Vasaplan. They cost a horrendous 15 kronor (approx US$2.50) a piece.

I’m a fan of Terry Pratchetts books. I’ve read most of the Discworld-novels, and I was a bit saddened when Good Omens fell through as a feature-film. It should be noted that Good Omens is not a Discworld-novel, yet it’s a spectacularly entertaining read none the less.

So, a few days ago I found out that a two-part miniseries had been produced, based on Terrys two first books set in the Discworld. This was called “The Colour of Magic” (note british spelling) and was based on the first book with the same name, followed by the accompanying novel called “The Light Fantastic”. Part one of the miniseries was of the first book, and so on.

Unfortunately it was broadcast on channels not available in Sweden, and it was only thanks to the miracle of file-sharing that I found it.

In the process, I also discovered that a similar mini-series had been produced based on his book “Hogfather” and broadcast christmas 2006. It was broadcast on the same channel as Colour of Magic, and again it was thanks to filesharing that I managed to find it.

I know that I linked to The Pirate Bay, but I urge anyone who enjoys these to try to find the DVDs and show financial support for them as well. I know I’m going to.

—

I watched The Colour of Magic first, and you know - it wasn’t quite up to my expectations. I’m not saying that it’s a bad production, because it isn’t. It’s actually quite good for a TV mini-series. Special effects are perfectly acceptable, production-design is very good, acting is up to par.

But it doesn’t have the pungency of Terrys books, and the story takes a lot of liberties with the source-material. Adding insult to injury in this department, a lot of the story doesn’t really make sense. There’s a lot of things that don’t add anything to the plot, except as filler-material.

Also, I don’t know about the dragons. Admittedly it was quite some time since I last read The Colour of Magic, but dragons are generally a no-no in the Discworld. It’s not that they don’t exist (because they do), it’s rather that they’re not a common commodity. I don’t remember exactly what happened in the book, but that whole bit doesn’t serve any purpose in the adaption. I just felt that it was filler, a poor excuse to show a rather beautiful woman in scantily clothing.

The thing that I missed the most though was the wacky humor that permeates Terrys books. Whenever I’ve read a Discworld-novel I’ve always felt as if I was reading some strange mix of Monty Python and Lord of The Rings. His writing is so textured, he gets every accent and every smell just right.

This was sadly missing in the mini-series. It didn’t have the wacky humor, and the few times it did it just felt pasted-on. The actors are obviously struggling to portray their characters, but somehow everything just falls a bit flat. The texture of the novels just don’t appear. Combined with the liberal deviation from the source material I actually felt a bit bored at times.

Wait! There’s good stuff too. Admittedly it’s not quite what I expected, but it does get quite a lot of things right. David Jason (known to most people as the bloke in A Touch of Frost) is quite good as Rincewind. I always imagined Rincewind as in his mid-late 30s, while David Jason is 68. So at first I cringed a bit, but I warmed to the concept quite quickly. I guess my estimate of Rincewind being much younger probably stems from the two mid-90s adventure games based on Discworld, where he’s portrayed as surprisingly young, as well as voiced by Eric Idle.

Also, Christopher Lee as the voice of Death is just… oh, I’m at a lack of words to describe how perfect it is. Christopher Lee doesn’t just voice Death, he IS Death. Jeremy Irons does an all too brief part as the chilly Lord Vetinari, the Patrician of Ankh-Morpork. Cohen The Barbarian is as old as I always imagined him to be, and equally grumpy as well.

Should you watch this? If you’re a Discworld-fan, then most definitely. It probably won’t be quite what you expected, but at least they didn’t mess it up too badly, and the production is quite well-done. If you’re not a Discworld-fan, then you might be a bit confused since some things are never really explained, but the fantasy-feel and good looks might keep you happy anyways.

Oh, and Terry Pratchett himself makes a cameo in the beginning and the end.

—

After watching the Colour of Magic I watched Hogfather. Well, not IMMEDIATELY afterwards, but a day or so later. Everyone who compared Hogfather with Colour of Magic said that the former was actually much better then the latter, despite having a smaller budget and less big-name stars. In fact, there are no big-name stars in Hogfather.

I was stoked however. If Hogfather was at the very least as good as Colour of Magic, it would totally be worth it.

And oh boy, was it worth it.

Hogfather is one of my favourite Discworld-novels. It has a very wacky humor, as well as some slight satire of the consumer-driven holiday we call christmas. It also has some interesting philosophical thoughts about religion and the origin of beliefs, but it’s sugarcoated in wackiness.

In short, the story is about how Hogfather (the Discworld-version of Santa Claus) goes missing, and Death (yes, THE Death) has to fill in for him for various convoluted reasons. Much of the humor derives from Deaths lack of… well… humanity.

The story is a lot more complicated, but that’s the short version.

So, how good was Hogfather? Let’s just say that it was everything that was good about CoM, and everything good that CoM should’ve been. Hogfather sticks very closely to the source-material, even taking a lot of dialogue verbatim from the book. The story is to my recollection exactly as in the book, and everything happens like in the book. It’s a very faithful adaption. Which I find somewhat interesting, since it’s the same bloke who adapted and directed both CoM and Hogfather.

David Jason appears in this one as well, although here he portrays Albert, Death’s butler and right-hand-man. It was a bit confusing at first, but David Jason is obviously a somewhat versatile actor and fit snugly into the part of Albert. Death isn’t voiced by Christopher Lee though, and his predecessor doesn’t have quite the same Deathiness to the voice.

Other than that the casting is spot-on. Susan (the granddaughter of Death, don’t ask - it’s complicated) is perfect, just as I imagined her. The wizards are perfect, and one of my many favourite actors makes a beautiful performance as the pragmatic and slightly whimsical Mustrum Ridcully, the archchancellor of Unseen University.

So is this worth watching?

Well, unless you’re rather daft and haven’t caught on to me really liking this one yet, then let me spell it out for you: yes, it’s very, very watchable. Doesn’t matter if you’re a Discworld-fan or not. Unlike CoM, Hogfather has plenty of the wacky humor that was sorely lacking in CoM. It has the Discworld-texture, the feel is right there. And best of all, despite it’s alleged much-lower budget it still has decent special-effects and good production-value overall.

Yeah, I kid you not! Computers can cause serious bodily harm.

Just a few minutes ago, stupid as I am, I reached into my darkened computer to adjust a fan slightly. I’m allergic to those LED-fans that blink and shine and hoot and do stupid stuff, so my computer is usually pitch-black inside. I normally keep a small flashlight handy for these online-adjustments, but this time I decided to be all manly and dumb. It’s just a simple adjustment!

KA-THUNK!

I accidentally brushed the earlier mentioned CPU-fan. Almost lopped my finger right off!

I found this satirical little writing about how bread is the unknown killer of today, and even though I laughed at it a more serious part of my brain reminded me that even though it’s satire, it actually showcases pretty well the attitude our media and governments display to us.

(Wow, that was a long sentence. Sorry!)

I’ll quite a bit from it so to whet your appetite.

1. More than 98 percent of convicted felons are bread users.

2. Fully HALF of all children who grow up in bread-consuming households score below average on standardized tests.

3. In the 18th century, when virtually all bread was baked in the home, the average life expectancy was less than 50 years; infant mortality rates were unacceptably high; many women died in childbirth; and diseases such as typhoid, yellow fever, and influenza ravaged whole nations.

4. Every piece of bread you eat brings you nearer to death.

Replace “bread” with “terrorists” and all of a sudden it no longer reads as satire. It reads as something that Fox would broadcast on their news.

There’s a few constants in this universe. Generally accepted is that the speed of light is pretty much constant. At least with our knowledge of physics and technology. I’m just saying that in case someone is reading this a thousand years into the future and laughing their ass off. I’m a caveman, travel back in time and we’ll settle this the old-fashioned way, alright?

There are a few other constants, unbendable truths that might seem trivial but who are just as unbendable as the speed of light. For example, the colder the weather the slower time passes. Especially when you’re waiting for a bus. Then time crawls along and seconds turn into hours.

Another one is the one that always happens to me. It never fails. Whenever I cut my fingernails short, within a maximum timespan of two hours afterwards there will be some reason for me to regret cutting them short. Usually this is evidenced when I need to open something. Today it was a small jar that needed prying. Without proper nails it was a bit difficult. Previous items have included a swiss army knife, a safety latch and a pant-button.

I remind myself every year that there is NOTHING that can be trusted on April 1st. Yet I often forget about this rule, and get all worked up over something. Afterwards I feel really stupid. Which I suppose is why I really dislike April 1st, since the “tradition” of April Fools has mutated into some kind of “make people feel really stupid”-tradition instead.

So yeah, I bought the thing about Cheese hook, line and sinker. Silly me.

Note to self: next year, don’t even turn on the freakin’ computer. Don’t answer the phone. Don’t read anything. Just sit in a corner and listen to music.

None the less, my opinions on software patents stand strong. I also don’t think it’s below Apple (or any corporation holding large amounts of patents) to try something just exactly like that.

It’s a well-known fact that I strongly oppose software-patents. In fact, patenting software is one of the most (ahem) patently absurd concepts I can imagine. Especially since pretty much everything in software is de-facto concepts that have been built on previous concepts building on previous concepts and so forth and so on.

Couple this with a patent system that has passed every checkpoint on the road to insanity and you’ll arrive at the system we have today. The major software companies no longer invent software, they try to patent every tom dick and harry piece of code and then sit on them like roosting hens and sue the bejeezus out of any poor schmuck who comes along.

Patents have been granted for completely absurd things, but software patents are in a league of their own. Today it’s virtually impossible for a small company to develop software without bogging themselves down in a legal quagmire trying to research what they’re allowed to do with software without violating some inane patent. Adding even such obvious things as a scrollbar to your application might violate some patent, and some troll-company comes along and sues your ass for infringement.

So, now that I’ve set the mood, let me proceed.

There’s an application on the Mac called Photobooth. It’s a fairly trivial little thing that essentially turns your Mac into one of those photobooths you can find in malls or supermarkets. You can add some minor effects and such. Basically it’s a completely harmless and mostly useless little software doo-dad that Apple includes in OS X.

Recently a new application called Cheese sailed up in the Gnome desktop. It mimics the concept of Photobooth and is just as harmless and mostly useless. It’s fun for about twenty seconds, and then you get bored.

I just visited the Cheese homepage and found out that some lawyer-shark acting on Apples behalf was forcing the creator of Cheese to abandon his project and remove all known instances of it, or they would sue him into oblivion.

This is posted on the Cheese frontpage:

all hell broke loose yesterday: i got a phone call yesterday by a nice lady, which presented herself as a former advocate of apple. she told me that the objective of her team was to find copyright and patent violations and therefore she called me:

obviously i did something wrong by starting such a project as cheese, which is a pure clone of photo booth. this would violate the us patent IC 009. US 021 023 026 036 038. G & S: computer software used for image editing, image acquisition, and image viewing, which was filed on february the 28th 2006 and as gnome is registered and known as an organization of the usa, this patent would be applicable.

i thought, that such patents would just apply, if there is some commercial interest behind it, but she knew it better: as i created cheese in the summer of code program, i “worked” for google, which makes everything a commercial project, even if now i “probably” do not get any money. in addition the full us patent law applies, as i a) worked for google in the usa for the summer of code program and b) cheese is now included in gnome, which is an organization registered in the usa.

she also told me, that of course there are similar applications like photo booth, but cheese acts as a clone and therefore an illegal copy because it works on intel based macs and therefore would be a competitor of photo booth. the fact, that cheese just runs on linux on the intel based macs was worthless by her.

so it looks pretty bad for me now.. i got a deadline of 5 work days to remove cheese code and binary versions from all places i have access to (probably svn.gnome.org, ftp.gnome.org, …).

i already contacted a lawyer, which thinks he can help me, but of course it is david against goliath…

so, if you know a way out of this, please contact me!

Is this the right way to go? HELL NO! This is just as bad as Creative getting all huffy over modified drivers that actually ADD functionality to their products. Why do companies insist on doing this? It serves nothing positive at all.