The Hollywood “Classic”

2011/08/13 — isecore

So, yesterday I fell into my couch with the intention of watching Where Eagles Dare, the classic action-thriller from 1968 starring Richard Burton and Clint Eastwood. Somehow I’ve completely managed to not watch it during my (so far) 33 years of existing, but it had all the makings of a classic matiné feeling. I mean, Clint Eastwood and Nazis, what can go wrong?

Well, a whole lot can go wrong apparently. What I got was a cheezy Hollywood action-extravaganza that while entertaining also was extremely annoying because it’s filled with obvious inaccuracies and clichés. Sure, I’m a bit of a nerd but I knew the movie had jumped the shark when the main nazi flew into the castle in a Bell 47, several years before helicopters where in military service and long before they saw use in Germany. Not to mention that it’s highly doubtful a nazi general would use an AMERICAN helo. Sorry. Everything after this became a long yawn.

So, I’m more and more leaning towards the opinion that when a movie is described as a classic, this is actually some kind of nostalgic gloss to cover up that it’s really a bit of a turkey. Especially when it comes to Hollywood Classics.

Really, the big problem I have with turkeys like this is when they take themselves too seriously. Compare with Kellys Heroes, which is firmly tongue-in-cheek when dealing with the subject matter of WW2. It’s hilarious, it’s fun, it’s full of action. It isn’t meant to be a documentary and no one mistakes it for such either. Where Eagles Dare sets itself up as a tight spy-type action thriller, and has very little humor if any at all. Yet it falls flat because it’s full of mistakes, goofs, flat acting and completely ludicrous twists. Had it not been so goddamn serious about itself it would’ve been much more tolerable, but as it stands it’s simply a pretentious but bland piece of action from the late 1960s.

Classic, my ass.

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Streaming Movies

2011/08/03 — isecore

I wrote a similar post in this blog before I rebooted it some two years ago, but it seems to have gotten lost in the confusion. Either way this is still a good topic and needs to be reiterated.

A while back everyone was gaga over Spotify. In case you haven’t heard about it, it’s a service where you can subscribe to an account and then they stream music to your computer. It’s quite simple, and even though I am critical of it for various reasons it was lauded as a solution to piracy and for most people it provides a perfectly decent experience.

However, as of writing this, there is still no decent similar solution for us movieholics. We’re still mostly banished to the (in my eyes) quaint practice of buying plastic discs or downloading or movies from the Pirate Bay. The practice of buying plastic discs has in my eyes become extremely old-fashioned, and the concept of going to a movie-store to RENT said plastic discs is to me virtually a medieval practice. Downloading them illegally isn’t a particularly appetizing prospect either, but at least it’s somewhat progressive and with the technological times.

See, the thing is – piracy has EVERYTHING that I feel a streaming on-demand video service should have. The problem with downloading a movie off of TPB is that you have to be really clued-in to understand what quality your download holds, as well as being somewhat literate in the technology.

If there was a decent streaming on-demand service that fulfilled my expectations I would subscribe to it in a heartbeat. Unfortunately there isn’t, and probably never will be since that would require abandoning many of the cornerstones embedded in the mentality of the average VP for the movie-maffia.

So what would be required?

1. No DRM or being chained-down. I’m sorry, but there simply is no wiggle-room here. Every time I see some new service pop up, this is the cardinal sin they always perform. I want to be able to stream my movies to any device, any time. Services expect me to use a certain operating system, a certain webbrowser, certain combinations of this-and-that and frankly, it’s horseshit. I rarely use Windows, and I don’t want to be tied to Windows, Internet Explorer and shit like that. I want to watch the movie on my Linux-desktop, or my laptop, or my HTPC (running Linux) or on whatever device I may have in the future.

2. This kinda ties together with the above, but it HAS to work on any device. My desktop computer, my laptop, my mediaplayer. Whatever. If you expect me to be tied down to my desktop computer, or shuffling around plugging a computer into my TV or whatever, then you will be left in the dust.

4. Again, this kinda ties in with #1 above. It needs to work on any operating system and software combination. Windows, MacOS, Linux, etc. If you limit me to one certain combination, then you’re history.

5. The quality has to be the same or similar to the best non-streaming (i.e. disc) format available through traditional channels. If the movie is available on Bluray, then the quality on-demand should be the same or visually impossible to distinguish. No extremely compressed crap Flash movies. This also goes for audio. DTS or Dolby Digital with at least 5.1 sound for movies that have been mastered with it. No stereo, no Dolby Pro Logic. Only if the movie doesn’t have a multitrack soundtrack is stereo or similar acceptable.

6. The same day a movie is released on DVD/Bluray it is available for streaming on-demand. None of this staggering releases bullshit, keeping movies intentionally away from on-demand services to not cut into disc-sales. If it’s in the shop, it should be on-line. No exceptions.

7. Anything and everything that is available on DVD/Bluray needs to be available or at the very least you should plan to be able to provide it. “Thousands of movies” might sound impressive but if 99% of those movies are either extremely obscure or in the public domain because they’re 70 years or older then you’ll fail again.

8. Decently priced. I will not pay for your hookers, limos and cocaine. I don’t mind paying a reasonable price for it if you manage to fulfill my requirements, but if you don’t – then don’t expect me to pay out of my nose for it.

Will any service that fulfills my wishes ever appear? I seriously doubt it. The industry behind filmed entertainment is way too narrowminded, greedy and unprogressive and seem happy to make enemies out of their potential customers instead, so I doubt anything like this will ever appear.

Posted in Computers, Filesharing, Movies. No Comments »

Movie Review: Trollhunter (Trolljegeren)

2011/07/03 — isecore

It’s quite rare these days that a movie manages to completely suck me in and forget that I’m watching something fictional. I am too aware of the craft of filmmaking, and all too often I spend a lot of time inside my head wondering about how a movie was made. That innocent and almost child-like suspension of disbelief is a very rare thing as an adult when watching films.

But every now and again some movie comes up and completely sucks me in. It makes me forget about the craft of filmmaking and instead manages to make me believe something unbelievable. It manages to take me away from wondering how a certain special effect was created, and instead makes me believe it’s all real.

“Trolljegeren” (or as it was called in english: Trollhunter) is one of those rare instances where I end up sitting on the edge of my seat in anticipation.

The movie is presented as a documentary. It’s done in the currently quite fashionable “found footage” faux-documentary style that started off with The Blair Witch Project and that other movies such as Cloverfield have successfully leveraged. The difference though is that with this low-key Norwegian film you wonder afterwards how much of it is real and how much is movie magic.

The plot in short is that three students at a university in Norway are making a student-film about a supposed bear-poacher. They stumble upon the man in question and it turns out that he’s not a bear-poacher – instead he works for a secret Norwegian government-agency whose mission it is to keep the existence of Trolls away from public knowledge. The trollhunter in question is seemingly somewhat bitter about the low status of his work, and invites the young camera crew to accompany him and document his work in the hopes that his employers might rethink how they treat him when his work is exposed on national television. This sets off a series of events, and the viewer learns about the truth behind the Norwegian governments handling of the Troll-situation…

This movie is utterly brilliant. It’s rough, it’s amateurish, and it’s absolutely beautiful in every way possible. If you liked Cloverfield or any of the other “found footage” type films that have surfaced you will love this one. Afterwards you’re not quite sure if you were watching a fictional piece of entertainment, or if these creatures actually exist. The film explains several of the myths behind trolls with completely plausible and understandable reasoning, and it all makes perfect sense.

It’s a must-see for anyone who wants to get away and see something fresh and exciting. This movie is a breath of fresh air. Don’t miss it.

The only thing that bothers me is that Hollywood is working on a remake, and that remake will suck all the life and originality out of the concept and turn it into yet another plastic entertainer.

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A Truly Great Movie

2011/02/09 — isecore

Tomorrow I travel southward. Thus instead of actual content I give you this thing below. Can you figure out which movie it’s from?

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Movie Review: “Monsters

2011/01/31 — isecore

When I first saw the trailer for “Monsters” I knew I wanted to watch it. I’m a sucker for almost anything scifi, and I heart the new wave of somewhat more hard scifi that’s been making the rounds the last year or so. I absolutely loved “District 9″, and still consider it a landmark in proper science fiction.

The trailer for Monsters promised one thing, but another was delivered. While the trailer promised a tight, interesting and somewhat action-filled movie, what you actually get is a very interesting romantic drama. Yeah, you read that right. This movie is at it’s core a romantic drama, but it’s set to a backdrop of conflict in something called the “infected zone” in southwestern USA and northern Mexico.

It starts with a brief introduction. Six years ago in the movies timeline a space-probe brought home alien life, but crashed in northern Mexico. During these six years the area was infested with strange life-forms colloquially called ‘the creatures’. Since then the area has been quarantined as an infected zone, and both US military and Mexican army are hard at work (and it’s implied, failing) at keeping the creatures inside the quarantined zone.

After that we get introduced to Andrew, a photographer for a mostly unspecified media-conglomerate, and Sam, the daughter of a high-up executive in that same media-conglomerate. Andrew has been tasked with getting Sam back from mexico into the USA, and the movie follows the trip of these two people through the infected zone.

Yeah, that sounds pretty straight-forward and we’re assuming it’s going to be an intense adventure. And it is, but in a real sense. The movie is set years after an incident, so it portrays a reality where things are accepted. It’s not the high-intense drama where people run around screaming, it’s an every-day type of movie set to an imaginative backdrop.

What really impressed me about this film is that it’s a completely independent production, and it was made for a very small amount of money. The whole film is more or less improvised, and the only actors involved portray the two main characters. Everyone else just happened to be there, and the film was built around this. It is most impressive, and unless you’re aware that this movie was produced on a minuscule budget you might not ever notice it.

Sure, it has flaws. Oftentimes the acting is a bit wooden, and the plot has a tendency to plod on without getting much of anywhere. But that’s okay, in this case it works. This movie is about the two main characters, not the adventure itself. Additionally the movie contains a stunningly beautiful end-scene. I was completely blown away by the simple beauty in that scene, and the immersion I felt.

Strongly recommended.

Posted in Movies, Reviews, Science Fiction. No Comments »

Movie Review: “Predators”

2010/09/27 — isecore

It’s been a long while since I last reviewed a movie, but I watched the brand-spanking new “Predators” yesterday and have some thoughts on it, which seemed like a good basis for a review.

—

“Predators”

Action/scifi from 2010 starring among other Adrien Brody, Alice Braga and Laurence Fishburne.

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A mercenary named Royce (Brody) awakens and finds himself rapidly falling towards the ground. Panicked by this, he tries to find his bearings and disovers he has a parachute. At the last moment the parachute deploys and saves him from being smashed into the ground. Later he encounters several other humans who have two things in common – they all fell to the ground in the same fashion, and they’re all violent people. A mercenary, an enforcer for a mexican drug cartel, a Russian special forces commando, an Israeli sniper, a convict from death-row and a Rwandan paramilitary just to name a few.

The third thing they all have in common is that they’re being hunted for sport by a vicious alien race of beings known only as “predators”…

—

“Predators” is a type of sequel/reboot to the original “Predator” starring everyones favorite mountain of muscle back in 1987. It completely ignores the rather dysmal attempts at a crossover with the Alien franchise, which I felt was very thankful.

I was looking forward to this, knowing that it would be produced by Robert Rodriguez and that to me felt like a good sign that the amount of compromising would be minimal. I hoped that all the good things would be kept intact, and that this would be a worthy Predator-film.

In hindsight, I feel glad to say that these hopes were fulfilled.

Yeah, I will honestly say that this movie is nothing subtle or very thought-provoking. It’s not meant to be either, it’s meant to be a violent action-fest featuring everyones favorite hunter. It succeeds quite well in this respect.

The mood is flawless. Everything that should be there is there, right down to a score very reminiscent of the original ’87 movie. At first I thought it was actually scored by the same composer, but it wasn’t. John Debney had made a beautiful tribute to the original haunting score by Alan Silvestri, keeping the tribal and jungle themes while updating it and making this score his own.

The cast works great. I had some reservations about Adrien Brody, but I like the idea of a lean and wiry mercenary rather than the mounds of muscle usually associated with these types of roles. Overall the casting is excellent, and each actor fits well into the part assigned to them. Absolutely no complaints there.

The plot is acceptable. It loses a bit of steam halfway in, before the grand finale, but that’s fine. The character played by Laurence Fishburne is a bit odd, as is the casting of him in that role, but at the same time it seems a bit fitting. The plot flails around a bit at times, but again – this is not a serious drama, this is an action-fest.

But overall, I feel confident that if you’re a fan of the 1987 original, you’re also going to enjoy this one. I know I did, and this is the best Predator-film in the last 20 years. It’s far superior to the AvP-films and I’ll happily watch this film at least 2-3 times more.

Totally recommended.

Posted in Action, Movies, Reviews, Science Fiction. No Comments »

More Cowboys And Aliens

2010/08/01 — isecore

A little more than a year ago I mentioned the upcoming movie “Cowboys & Aliens” which I felt looked like a fun time. I recently checked up on it, and now there’s this intriguing photo of Daniel Craig looking all cowboy-y and wielding some type of alien device.

I still say that this looks like a fun movie. It’s directed by Jon Favreau and stars a lot of pretty big names, among others the aforementioned mr Craig as well as Harrison Ford, Sam Rockwell and Clancy Brown. I think it could be a good, somewhat whacky movie. Fingers crossed!

Posted in Fantasy, Movies, Science Fiction. No Comments »

Groaning About “2½ Men”

2010/04/19 — isecore

Since I live alone I don’t always enjoy the luxury of humanoid company (my cat really doesn’t give two hoots about when or what I eat) when eating dinner. Being the borderline white trash that I am, I’ve thusly taken up the habit of watching shows when I eat in solitude. Mostly I follow the usual garbage such as Lost, V, Flashforward and all that jazz. I tend to prefer light-hearted entertainment though, stuff that doesn’t require me to think and doesn’t smack my head if I briefly let my attention focus on transporting nourishment from the plate to my mouth.

So for a while I plowed through things like Friends, Scrubs and similar. Right now I’m mowing through the 7th season of the Charlie Sheen hell-ride known as “2½ Men”.

Now, when this show first started appearing in this country a few years back I thought it was slightly better than most other fast-food type american sitcoms, and I occasionally did let a laugh or to slip out when watching it.

These days though I wonder why in the name of bejesus they keep producing the crap.

It’s just the same old stale sitcom-humor. There’s nothing original or funny about it, and while it serves it’s purpose as junkfood for my brain while I shove slightly more healthy food into my mouth, it just boggles my mind why this turd keeps rolling around on television.

The show is basically about Charlie Sheen playing himself. The humor (or lack thereof) is dated, american (not on a good way) and it’s staler and lamer than a week-old dead duck. Supposedly each episode costs a shitload of money to produce as well, since Charlie Sheen apparently won’t show up unless someone waves a fat wad of cash or a transsexual prostitute holding a bag of cocaine in front of him.

But, what do I find the most despicable about this elephant-dung of a sitcom? The opening sequence.

You know, where the two and a half men lip-sync to some loopy jazz-type bullshit for about twenty seconds before gazing into the camera like three zombies on crystal meth. Recently, since the half man is growing into his teens they’ve bolted on this god-awful cheesy morphing sequence where he for a second or two morphs from his preteeny self into the teeny self.

Why can’t they take some of the twohundred bazillion gajillion dollars each episode supposedly costs and simply reshoot the opening sequence with the current incarnation of Angus T. Jones rather than slapping some half-assed morphing into it?

It really grinds my gears.

Of course, I could go on pissing and moaning about this televised IQ-drowner. But I’m not going to, instead I’m simply going to do what I should’ve done before starting to watch it, and not watch it any more.

Posted in Television. 6 Comments »

Movie Thoughts: “Cargo”

2010/04/18 — isecore

Last night I watched a movie. It was a swiss german-speaking independent scifi-flick called “Cargo” and up until discovering this movie I hadn’t heard a single word spoken about it. I figured I’d give it a go, and for some reason I’m still pondering it.

Plus, it’s an independent production from outside the Hollywood-circus, and it needs to be mentioned. Plus, it also shows how incredibly stale Hollywood has become in much of it’s productions, only going into safe and cute territory.

Cargo follows a young woman in her 20s named Laura Portmann. In an unspecified future where Earth has been deemed incapable of sustaining life and where humanity subsides on enormous space-stations in orbit around the supposedly lifeless earth, she enrolls as medical officer aboard a freighter. She needs money in order to visit her sister on Rhea, an earth-like planet in another solar system. Rhea is heavily restricted and you need to pay your way to it. Lauras sister was lucky and won her passage in a lottery, and in video-messages sent between the two Laura long to join her sister.

On the cargo-ship most of the skeleton crew takes turns doing 8-month completely solitary watches while the others spend their time in cryosleep on the four-year journey to Station 42. Supposedly the ship carries equipment for Station 42, but when strange occurences start happening on the ship it’s revealed that things might not be as clear-cut as Laura first thought when she signed on…

Yeah, I know. My writeup here sounds like the setting for a bad space-horror type film that heavily rips off Alien. The movie in fact is nothing like it. It’s a slow-moving and thoughtful piece which borrows heavily from classics such as “2001: A Space Odyssey” as well as adding a few turns of it’s own.

Overall it was a bit strange watching a scifi-flick where everyone speaks german, but after a while you tend to forget it. Visually the film is very impressive, and even though it borrows many concepts quite openly from “2001″ it does it without ripping it off. It would seem that the movie-makers tried to ground their movie in reality rather than Star Wars-type fantasy, and mostly this seems to hold. Of course, there’s some incongruous behavior (such as the constantly firing engines of the ship) but overall this is a subdued and sober affair.

So, production-wise there’s not a lot to complain about. It’s a polished and visually pretty movie as well as having good sound.

The problems come in the heavy borrowing of themes from other movies. Too much of the movie is essentially a bunch of scifi-staples thrown together to form a movie, and while these themes are always interesting this movie doesn’t really add anything new to them. It’s also a bit hindered by the slow tempo which means there isn’t enough time to explore these themes without making the movie too long. As it stands it introduces the themes and then has to rush ahead to finish the film. A good number of plot-devices are also rather hastily ended and could’ve used a lot more exposition to make them seem more fully realized, but I understand that there’s a lot of compromise being done. A minor subplot is also quite annoyingly left completely ignored, even though the outcome of that subplot isn’t essential to the whole ending.

The acting is a bit wooden, but I suppose that goes well with a movie where one of the primary themes is the dehumanization and isolation in a cold and unforgiving future. Thus I don’t really know if the wooden acting is intentional or simply something that couldn’t be avoided. In the end it somehow works in the movies favor.

Overall I guess you could do worse, and it’s decent enough entertainment provided you don’t expect the typical Hollywood-fare. This movie is a lot more subdued and slow-moving, which might not be something the twitchy teens might like.

Posted in Movies, Science Fiction. 5 Comments »

Get Ready For Foooootbaaaah!

2009/11/07 — isecore

I watched the premiere of the remade V earlier today. Setting aside my annoyance at the volume of television series being greenlighted in contrast to how little truly original programming (most things seem like either remakes or different versions of things that already has been done) we see today, I still felt this was a somewhat entertaining investment of time.

And I think PVP hit the head on the nail of how it would happen if it was real. We’re such a bland and media-soaked society that the aliens would have to do this in order to get our attention.

But the comic made me laugh. Foootbaaah!

Posted in Television. 1 Comment »
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